A big part of life, it has been said, is learning to accept what you cannot change. I understand the idea behind it and I have to agree with it just about 100 percent. One of the toughest things to accept, of course, is the death of a family member or good friend. Those are some of the hardest moments in life.
Well, I said good-bye to an old friend last week. I’ve known this wonderful guy about 47 years and he was one of maybe two or three of the finest people I’ve ever known. I say this because it’s just the simple truth.
My old friend worked in the athletic field all his adult life and touched literally thousands of lives in so many positive ways. I can honestly tell you that I’ve never seen a man so loved wherever he went. That certainly doesn’t fit my profile, I must admit.
Unleash a New Era of Mobility and Comfort >>
Embrace your life, not just accept it
With his long illness, we all knew that the day was comin’ when he would no longer be here. Still, even though I have to accept the loss, it hurts. Thing is, he accepted that fact quite a bit ago. And he did so with dignity and class. But that’s the way he embraced life, wherever he was. He didn’t just accept where he was in life, he embraced it and made his life a light of friendship for everyone he met. Whether he was a young man, a middle-aged fella or an old guy, he embraced the people around him in whatever circumstance with a determination to succeed and compassion for others.
My old friend’s attitude about life got me to thinkin’ about people I’ve known along the road that weren’t able to accept life as it came to them. Some folks I’ve known, for example, are never happy with their life because of their financial circumstances. My old pal wasn’t a materially wealthy man, but he was one of the richest guys I’ve ever known.
But too many of us, let what we don’t have make us forget about all the things we do have. That doesn’t mean we have to sit back and stop trying to improve our situations, but our financial situation should make us less of the person than we are. We need to learn how to be our best selves no matter what our bank balance might be.
But how many of us really do that? Not many, I’ll bet. This sense of jealousy – I call it “financial envy” – is a big divider in our society. Folks talk about the 1% who live like kings and the rest of us. But that isn’t the reality. Most of us are middle class folks. We live in modest or maybe even nice homes, work 40 hours or more a week, pay our mortgage and hope we can retire and still put our kids through college. We’re not poor; but we’re not rich, either.
Does this mean that middle class people are less happy than the wealthy? Maybe it’s the case in some material areas of life; but not in every category that really counts. I know quite a few very wealthy folks whose lives are as messy and full of dissatisfaction and unhappiness as anyone else’s, if not more so.
Unlock the SECRET to Your Best Health Ever >>
Don’t believe me? Well, trust me; it’s the absolute truth. And there are a few very good reasons for this…
For one thing, rich people either got that way by inheriting it or earning it. In either case, human beings are subject to all kinds of mistakes. Some mistakes we aren’t able to make because we don’t have the financial means to make them.
Buying the wrong company, for example, isn’t a mistake that an employee at a tire store or a high school history teacher is likely to make, is it? Nor is being sued for millions of dollars by a business partner likely to happen to a long haul trucker or a pharmacist. But either one of those events, or both, happen to the wealthy on a regular basis and can make anyone’s life just miserable.
Does money change or reveal?
Secondly, it’s been said that having a lot of money will change people. I personally don’t believe that, even though I’ve seen it happen. That may sound like a contradiction, but it isn’t. The thing is, money, I believe, only reveals people’s true nature; it doesn’t actually change who they are on the inside.
For example, I once briefly worked with a multi- billionaire media mogul. He was in his mid-50s at the time. After we had talked on the phone a bit, he invited me to his home for a breakfast meeting. His house was in a very small enclave of homes overlooking the sea. (This was one of many of his homes.)
Well, when I arrived, the first thing he did was make me coffee in the kitchen – he used the same coffee maker that I used. Next, he introduced me to man of similar age who was watching the morning news in the den. This media mogul explained that they were old friends, and that the man’s wife was in cancer treatment. He was letting them stay at his multi-million dollar beach house for free. I figured he was also paying for the treatment because it was one of the best cancer treatment centers in the world.
NEW way of manifesting wealth >>
People are surprised to hear of this kind of humanity from such a wealthy man, certainly in the 1% group. But you see, no matter how much money this man amassed, his basic goodness was the same. Money didn’t change him; it just allowed him to do more good.
On the other hand, I also knew a man who was struggling to make ends meet for several years. He was also not respected by his more successful associates. But a few short years later, this guy began to make a decent amount of money, and then even a bit more. In the millionaire category, possibly, but nothing compared to the first man.
Well, once this fella had made a bit of cash, he became just like his old associates who had treated him poorly. He treated his old friends like he was better than them, and even his wife was shocked at his arrogant attitude and lousy behavior. He went from being a pleasant fella to becoming a real jerk. Not surprisingly, he lost all the people who were his real friends.
Now, ask yourself, “did the money cause this? Or did the money allow this fella to be and act out who he really was all along?”
Material Identification
The third reason money often causes more un- happiness than it brings is from the temptation of what I call, “material identification.” This is nothing more than a person not being rooted in themselves enough. Without a clear sense of our self-worth as a human being, we look for that self- worth in other people or in things, or in both.
This doesn’t mean than money changes people; in fact, it’s an argument against that. Without a clear sense of who you are as person, and your value as a human being and your purpose in life, no amount of money can change that. Sadly, some folks who end up with the silver spoon in their mouth still feel unfulfilled within themselves.
[Download Link]: wealth cheatsheet >>
To try to fill that empty place within them, they buy all kinds of fancy cars, clothes and the like. That may look like happiness to some folks lookin’ in from the outside, but it ain’t really. The more stuff they buy, the bigger the hole within them grows. These “poor” rich folks literally try to “buy happiness” with all their money.
Some will eventually find out that true happiness ain’t for sale and can’t be bought. Most folks have a hard time feeling sorry for the rich and the so-called “1%”, and I understand that. But think about all those rich folks in the news all the time, doing all kinds of crazy things. Do they look happy? Do they?
Youth and beauty
But it ain’t just a money-envy thing that makes people unhappy. Too much of what our culture values is based upon an over-valuation – if not outright worship – of youth. It’s pretty close to the truth to say that youth and beauty are the top priority of our culture. In a phrase, if you’re young, you’re it; if you’re not young, you’re out of it.
Well, how is someone s’posed to feel if they’re neither young nor particularly easy on the eyes? How is a fat, 50-something, middle class guy or gal supposed to feel about themself in this culture that puts a ridiculous amount of emphasis on money, youth and beauty?
Now, don’t get me wrong, here. I was once young, fit and ready to take on the world. And, so the missus tells me from time to time, not too difficult to look at, either. (Trust me; all that’s long gone over the dam!) I understand that youth is what leads us into the future.
But even though young folks like to think and act like they have all the answers, they don’t. They need the advice and guidance of folks who have lived life longer than they and have a deeper understanding of things. Experience is the greatest teacher and where wisdom comes from; it is one of the few things that youth simply can never have.
If You’re Feeling Energy Deficient, Try This >>
The problem I see with folks as they get along in years is a certain unwillingness to embrace life where they are today. They want to remain young, look young and be thought of as young. That’s a kind of vanity that can never be satisfied and makes a fool out of all who think they can regain their youth.
The simple fact is that nobody likes a phony and young people can spot a phony a mile away. Worse though, is the fact, that when we don’t embrace ourselves and our lives where we are today, we not only are fooling ourselves, but we’re also losing the present. This futile temptation pushes any chance of happiness for today out the window.
When you’re young, enjoy being young. When you’re a dad or a mom, you stop doing some of the things you did before because you have young babies looking to you to provide food, shelter and love for them. When your kids are teenagers, you remain a parent; that’s what they need. You don’t try to “be hip” with your kids and their friends. They don’t need another friend; they need your guidance and wisdom.
When your hair turn gray or falls out (or both), your waistline grows a bit and the wrinkles come, don’t stress about those things. Embrace where you are in life and be happy. Of course, there are financial and family stresses and you may feel like your life is passing by you way too fast; but that’s only because it is! Since life truly is short, embrace each day, each moment, where you are in life.
If you find yourself looking back, or trying to “turn back the clock, don’t – you can’t ever go back! You can only be where you are today. Accept this reality and embrace it. Treat people well, love your family, make peace with your Creator and don’t forget to laugh and smile. All the rest is an illusion.
