This time, I want to talk about one form of challenge that almost anyone who succeeds in life, in one form or another, will face. Here’s what I mean by that…
Are you watching any of the political debates? Have you been following the campaigns of all the folks who want to be president? If you have, you’ve probably also noticed how much flack anyone who wants to be president has to take.
Now don’t get me wrong, I firmly believe that anybody who wants to be president ought to be able to take some strong criticism and scrutiny. Every candidate needs to be asked – and answer – tough questions about what they’ve done in the past and why. At the same time, they need to tell us in plain language just what they plan to do if they’re elected, and how they plan to do it.
Of course, that’s not always what happens. Too often, folks in the media who want things to go a certain way, do their darnedest to make one person look better than the others, no matter the real story is. To my point, I believe that the press went especially easy on the one who currently occupies the Oval Office during both campaigns, and continue to do so even today.
That said, the rough and tumble of politics is a good thing overall. And, contrary to what some folks might want you to believe, it’s always been that way in America. Even the Founding Fathers had deep disagreements and personal, violent arguments with their political adversaries.
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That’s the truth of the matter. Anyone who tells you different, or suggests that we “keep our voices down and remain calm” when the future of our nation is at stake, really just wants you to shut your pie hole. That’s what folks who don’t want competing ideas to be heard always say.
Are you raising your profile?
But what if you’re not in politics? What if you’re just a ‘regular person’ who happens to have had a couple of wins in life? What if you’re just a person who wants to make things better on even a small scale, like running for the school board to improve the education in your district? Should you have to expect to be a target of people who want to damage your name, prevent you from meeting your goal or get ‘their fair share’ of your success?
I think most folks probably know the answer to that one. But there’s another part of it that many don’t realize applies to them and everybody else in a similar position.
First, let me tell you what I mean by ‘similar position’. In most cases, when a fella or gal does something well or important in life, what happens? Usually, their name gets a little bit more known than it was before.
And lots of times, name recognition is a big part of why they’ve become successful in the first place. Think about a realtor selling houses or commercial buildings. All of them want us to know their names and what they do, don’t they? Doesn’t matter the size of the community; someone’s got to be the best realtor, the best plumber, the most well known lawyer, the most successful business person, the mayor, the chief of police and so on and so forth.
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High name recognition in a community, in a state, a nation and of course around the world, means that such a person is a ‘high profile person.’ And guess what? The higher your profile, the more people will know about you, and will either be for you or against you. Of course, most folks won’t care either way, but there will be enough at either end of the stick to both help you in some ways and hurt you in others.
Prepare for the scrutiny that success brings
That’s what too many folks forget when they begin to be successful in whatever they’re aiming at. Again, it don’t matter what area of life you’re involved in. The problem is that most people aren’t prepared for that part of the deal and don’t know how to handle it.
You’ve heard people say that anyone who wants to lead needs to grow a thick skin? Well, it’s absolutely true. When you think about it, every president of the United States has really only had the support and good will of just over half of the people on their best days.
It’s the same with you and me. The truth is that you can expect about half the people who know of you, or to whom your message or success has affected, to disagree with you in some way. But if you’re gonna continue to pursue your goals, you can’t let that get to you.
At the same time, if there are some issues you’ve had with business partners, customers or anyone else, it’s a good idea to handle those things right up front, as they happen. That means getting resolution wherever possible that is verifiable and that truly closes the matter.
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You don’t want those issues hanging on as you move up the ladder. That’s when they can come back a
bite you in the tail. Because you have more to lose, it puts your adversary in a potentially more powerful position to leverage the issue. Settle outstanding issues as they come up. You don’t want a trail of burning bridges in your past. Those things have a way of haunting you for a long time to come.
Don’t believe your bad press…
One of the ways they will haunt you is they way you’re talked about by others. You may have gotten a good deal on a piece of land, for instance, that you later developed and sold. Or, you may have landed a big
contract that put your business on a whole new level and set you up for life. In both cases, there was likely someone who wanted what you ended up with, but didn’t get it.
Thing is, it don’t matter if you did everything by the book and just out-worked or outsmarted the other guy, there will be someone who’ll look at things differently, putting you in a bad light. That’s something you’re gonna have to expect.
Even if you didn’t win against anybody else, it won’t matter. For example, if a deal just landed in your lap, so to speak, or you inherited a nice chunk of money or whatever, it’ll be said by some that you did nothing to earn your success. The fact is, if your profile rises high enough, you’re gonna get some bad press; it just comes with the territory.
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And don’t believe your good press
On the other side of that coin, you’re gonna get some good press as well. Some folks might say that you are a self-made man or woman, or that you did everything right all the time, and what’s more, that you did it all by yourself.
But even more than that, you might read about how brilliant you are and what a hard worker you are, with a visionary ability beyond the rest of us mere mortals. All that kind of stuff is what the media will say about someone they want to promote, for one reason or another.
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But don’t buy that bunch of hooey, either. You see, you can’t always know the motivation behind things written or said about you. You’re better off to avoid believing either of them.
No one does it alone
And let’s face it; nobody does everything by himself or herself. Nobody accomplishes things all alone. There’s always somebody else helping him or her along.
I’ll be the first to say that although I’ve done alright over the years, it hasn’t all been my doing. Sometimes people see what a hard worker you are and they give you an opportunity, for example, that you either hadn’t thought of or never believed that you’d ever have. And yet, someone gave you that opportunity. Not you, but someone else.
Now, you may well have taken good advantage of that opportunity, done well with it, and it led to another opportunity and then another and another. That’s to your good hard work and belief in yourself, but it wasn’t all you, was it? Opportunities were given to you by others, weren’t they?
You ought to be grateful when such things happen. But also, you should admit that you were fortunate. Good timing is another one of those things that just happen.
We all know or have heard of someone doing the right thing at the right time and profiting from it in some way or another. Most of the time, they didn’t even realize what they were doing at the time would set them up for the great outcome; it just happened for one reason or another.
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That’s called “good luck”, and again, the best thing to do there is to acknowledge it, be grateful for it and do the best you can with the success and opportunities that came with it. The worst you can do claim all the responsibility for it and make yourself out to be smarter than you really are. Folks, let me tell you, that kind of nonsense NEVER works out very well.
Flattering words hide agendas
In fact, whenever you catch yourself nodding to someone or to some article singing your high praises, you’re falling into a very dangerous trap. It’s easy to get into but can be durned-near impossible to get out of. Once you let yourself be flattered, you’ll find that it becomes quite addictive. Hearing nice things said about you is a hard habit to break for most people, so don’t start it.
Problem is, when you’re being flattered by who- knows-who, chances are that the one doing the flattering wants something from you. That’s when you lose the right perspective on things. Situations that you’d normally figure out right quick, you suddenly misread because you’re being flattered to do so.
The other problem is that when you listen to flattery and take it into consideration, you lose your power. You lose your ability to separate fact from fiction ‘cause all you’re listening to is the sweet and poison fiction that you’re great and can do no wrong.
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Again, most folks will miss not hearing wonderful things about themselves. Don’t you be one of them. You’ll end up having to defend yourself and your actions because you listened to someone who had their interests in mind, not yours.
The money trap
Lastly, if you’ve made a bit of money, you have options in life. That’s normally a good thing. But it can also lead you to becoming a target for lawsuits.
If, for instance, you owned a few rental house, an apartment building, or some other valuable property, there will always be somebody who figures they can file a lawsuit against you for one thing or another. They’ll know that you have a lot to lose, and a bank account that’s quite a bit bigger than theirs.
Frivolous or financially motivated lawsuits are an epidemic in this country. And if you look at the cases, you’ll always notice one thing in particular: poor people are seldom the target of lawsuits. Why is that? It’s because only folks who have something lose, get sued.
In this sense, success, money and a high profile are a trap: you’re pretty guaranteed to attract a certain amount of scrutiny and legal troubles just because you are successful. Becoming successful is certainly worth the effort; but you have to know what’s waiting for you when you do.
